April 18, 2012

Somedays, it feels like you'll never get up!

Some days, the time is fluid, the needful things all seem to be complete and there's your harp, all ready to be played.  But other days are like the third day of a diet - you know, the day you start to backslide, cheat, eat M&Ms because they're small and they don't count.

Those are the days on which your life gangs up on you - there's so much to do and no matter how hard you work, you don't get the needful things completed, the only thing that changes on your "Things to Do" list is that it keeps getting longer, and when you fall exhaustedly into bead, you jolt awake with the thought, "oh, [bother], I never practiced today!"  And, because you're exhausted, as you slide into sleep, you feel guilty and just a little fatter (well, the harp equivalent). 

H.G. Wells is quoted as saying, "If you fell down yesterday, stand up today."  He's got a good point.  We all know we must practice to maintain our hard won gains (and so as not to embarrass ourselves when someone asks us to play an impromptu concert).  But we also know that we live in the world and stuff happens.
On those days (which do sometimes stretch into weeks) be kind to yourself.  If your harp buddy was confessing that practice was a word he could no longer even spell, would you start castigating him?  If your workshop roomie let slip that she's kind of in a hiatus from actually practicing, would you read her the riot act?  No, you wouldn't do either of those things. You would express kind hearted support – you’d try to make them feel better – after all, things come up.
So, don't do that to yourself either.  Recognize that harp, like everything else in your life, is clamoring for your attention.  Recognize that because you love your harp so much you might actually favor it over other things on the good days (cleaning would be one of those things!) so you feel keenly the not good days when you don’t get to play.
Make a promise to yourself to be gentle with you, praise your good, and accept that less good.  Know that sometimes you need a little break to return to your love affair with a light heart.
And aren't we lucky - the loves of our lives sit there, patiently waiting, going out of tune (this must be the harp equivalent of when your dog chews your shoes to express displeasure!).  So, when things calm down, go back, play the old, well worn, easy stuff that you don't forget and the next day, take on a challenge! 
Just ‘cause you fell down today doesn’t mean that tomorrow won’t be better and you can get right up…onto your harp bench!

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